Of Butt Plugs and Phone Sex
by Wild Rhov
Summary: Uryu calls Ichigo at a really, REALLY bad time. What ensues is the hottest phone call of Ichigo's life. Rated M for a reason, uke-Ichigo.


_Disclaimer: Tite Kubo is a god of manga. I am the succubus of smut. Together, it makes a happy world. I don't own the lyrics to "Idioteque" by Radiohead. It's Ishida's official theme song so maybe it counts as being part of the Bleach universe? If I'm mistaken, let me know._

* * *

**Of Butt Plugs and Phone Sex  
**

a _Bleach_ fanfic

by Rhov

"_Ishida...more...it feels...so...g-good!_"

"_Do you like it, Kurosaki?_"

_"Nnngh!_"

"_Beg me if you want it inside._"

As those words filled his mind, Ichigo stroked himself more. He laid on his bed, writhing at the pleasure of his hand, his pants down to his ankles, his shirt yanked up to his chin as his free hand occasionally ran over his chest and tweaked his nipples for a little added pleasure.

"Ishida," he whispered, struggling to keep quiet lest his sisters or, even worse, his father overheard him.

It was bad enough that Isshin found the messy tissues in his wastebasket last month and, thinking he was being an understanding father, gave Ichigo a stack of Playboy magazines..._his_ porno mags! His "special edition" collection, apparently. Ichigo did not even want to _touch_ those things, cringing as he thought about what his father must have done while looking at those magazines filled with big-breasted women.

Yet massive mammaries were not what Ichigo wanted. Too bad the twins weren't old enough for those kinds of things, or else he might have sneaked out one of theirs, filled with hot men with massive cocks. There was no way in hell he could buy a magazine like that on his own.

"_Please, Ishida...in...I want you inside._"

"_You sound so slutty, Kurosaki. Still, since you begged like a good boy, I'll give you a treat. How about a nice, big, juicy bone?_"

"Ahh...nngh!" He moaned softly, mimicking the fantasy...or memory. Ichigo felt sweat dripping from his orange hair and down his face. He turned his head down into the pillow to mute himself.

What would Ishida Uryū think if he knew Ichigo spent his nights masturbating to the vision of his face, to his raven hair and cool blue eyes, wishing it was those long, cold fingers stroking him.

Then Ichigo reached under the bed and pulled out a box. It wasn't hidden well—he used it almost every night, after all. Kon had already found his little box, but luckily he was too naïve to recognize the strangely-shaped piece of silicon. Carefully, Ichigo opened the box. This was his secret treasure, a vibrating butt plug. Ichigo had used a credit card he swiped from his father to buy this online, making sure the company name looked innocent, and he stayed home the day it was delivered to make sure no nosy family opened the plain packaging. When questioned about the mystery purchase, he told Isshin it was "something for school." Well, sex education was part of school, right?

From his box of goodies, Ichigo took a tiny bottle of lube. This was another present from his _dear understanding father_. At least it came brand new and still in the wrapper when he got it, so it wasn't quite so gross. Hell, Ichigo could probably request anal beads for his birthday and Isshin would be overjoyed to comply! No way would he do that, though.

A little lube on the slightly curved butt plug was all he needed. He went slow at pushing it in, easing it little by little.

"Ah! Ohh...too hard, too hard...little more...fuck yeah, Ishida!"

He shuddered as the plug fit in firmly with a divot so it would stay in place inside. His sphincter relaxed around the divot, and Ichigo gave a shuddering sigh of relief.

"Okay, it's in," he whispered to the fantasy.

Then he took out the tiny remote control with a dial to slowly increase the vibrations. He turned it on and started it on the lowest setting. Pure pleasure purred through his ass. Ichigo clenched, but the intruding plug reminded him to keep loose. He stroked himself a little, then let go to turn up the vibrations.

"Fuck...oh fuck," he whispered.

And that was when...

_Who's in a bunker, who's in a bunker?_  
_Women and children first,_  
_ And the children first,_  
_ And the children._  
_ I'll laugh until my head comes off._  
_ I swallow till I burst._  
_ Until I burst._  
_ Until I..._

He jolted when he heard that tune playing on his cellphone. It was Ishida's song. A long list of profanity spewed from Ichigo's lips as he scrambled to turn off the vibrator. He reached behind him to pull the butt plug out too; however, he had panicked, clenched tightly, and could not yank it out without hurting himself.

_Who's in a bunker, who's in a bunker?_  
_ I have seen too much._  
_ I haven't seen enough._  
_ You haven't seen it._  
_ I'll laugh until my head comes off._  
_ Women and children first,_  
_ And children first,_  
_ And children._

"Ichigo, you awake?" one of his sisters hollered. "Your phone is going off."

"Yeah, I...I got it!" No time to mess with the stuck plug. He wiped his hands as best as he could, picked up the phone, and tapped it to receive the call. "H-Hello?"

"What's up, Kurosaki?"

"Ah, Ishida. Uh, nothing much here, just...just studying."

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," he snapped. "Just...it's weird of you to call. Did anything happen?"

"Yeah, my dad told me we'll be leaving town next week. Some sort of special training." The Quincy sighed in annoyance. "There's no helping it, I guess. I figured I'd let you know."

"Ah...I see." Ichigo squirmed from the pressure in his ass.

"Are you sure you're okay? Your voice sounds...husky...like you..."

There was silence on the phone. Ichigo froze as a shiver of guilt ran up his arms and down his bare legs. _He couldn't have figured it out just by my voice...right?_

"Ku-ro-sa-ki," Ishida purred, tripping over each syllable like a child at play. "Tell me...what are you wearing?"

"Wh-what!" Ichigo screamed. "What sort of damn perverted question is that?"

"I just wanna know."

Despite himself, Ichigo felt his cheeks go red. He listened to the sounds in the house, as if someone might have overheard the lewd question. "Green teeshirt and blue jeans. Why?"

"Oh really?" came a simpering tone on the other end. "So you're really wearing blue jeans? Or could it be your pants are off?"

"Pervert!" Ichigo snapped. He almost felt like yanking his pants up just so he could honestly say he was wearing them, but the plug in his ass would not allow it.

"I interrupted you, didn't I? Sorry about that. No need to be ashamed, we're both healthy teens, but...were you thinking of me while touching yourself?"

"As if!" he scoffed.

"Then...were you fantasizing over someone else?"

Ishida's voice sounded so hurt, it made Ichigo flinch. He could visualize those blue eyes and their sad expression. Ichigo squirmed on the bed as just what he had been fantasizing about returned to mind. "Fine, I...I guess I was thinking about you a little."

"Oh yeah?" Ishida sounded much happier, almost proud to have squeezed the information out of him. "Tell me what you were thinking about."

After a long pause, Ichigo softly admitted, "Last time."

"Last time, huh? Mmm, yeah...that was good. You were so sensitive, it really turned me on. You liked it that much, huh?"

"Uh...yeah," he whispered.

"Which part were you fantasizing over?"

"Shut the hell up. Don't make me say stupid things. Damn perverted Quincy," Ichigo snapped, starting to get pissed at the sultry voice on the other end.

"Then just tell me what you liked best."

Ichigo glared at his bedroom door as he began to get nervous at where this conversation was heading. He heard his family downstairs watching TV together. The show lasted half an hour. It was five minutes after the hour, so they would be busy for twenty-five minutes. He was pretty much left alone.

"Kurosaki? You still there? Or did I scare you away?"

He despised that he could see Ishida's smirk through his voice. "I liked...when you...put it in."

"Yeah, that felt good. You're getting better at taking me in. Did it hurt?"

"No...a little, but...but then...it felt good."

"It was good for me too," Ishida said, and Ichigo heard gentle breathing slowly getting heavier on the other end. "I like filling up your ass, Kurosaki. No matter how many times we do it, you're still so tight."

Ichigo's ass tensed, and suddenly he was aware of the butt plug again. He gave a soft, involuntary moan.

"Let me hear you," Ishida's voice said softly. "Touch yourself as you think of me. Let me hear how you sound."

"Ishida," he whispered in shock, yet his hand drifted down to his aching crotch.

"Hey Kurosaki, I'm stroking myself right now."

"What the fuck, dude! Don't tell me something perverted like that."

"Does that make you hot?"

It did! Ichigo shuddered as he thought about Ishida's long, lithe fingers wrapped around his cock, sliding from pink tip down to curly black patch, and how sexy he probably looked sitting in bed masturbating. Or maybe he was on the floor, or in a chair.

"Wh-where are you?"

"Where?" Ishida asked in surprise. "Honestly..." Now it was his turn to pause in a bit of awkwardness. "I'm...on the computer."

"Watching hentai?"

"Um...no. I have some pictures from our last school trip. I...I was looking at photos of you."

"Do you have any naughty ones?"

He heard a slight hiss on the other line, and it made Ichigo smirk with victory. "I...sneaked a picture of you sleeping. You had a nighttime erection and...and I...opened the flap in your boxers for the picture."

"Naughty, naughty Quincy."

"So go ahead and spank me."

Ichigo hummed as he thought about doing just that, dropping the Quincy's white pants and slapping his ass red.

"Hey Kurosaki...stroke yourself, just like I'm stroking myself. Are you doing it?"

"Y-Yeah," he whispered.

"Does it feel good?"

"You're distracting me."

"Oh? Am I? Are you really getting into it?" He could hear deeper breathing creating a soft static in his ear. "I wanna hear you moan as I tweak your nipple. Tweak it for me, Kurosaki."

He reached up to his chest and twisted the hard nipple between his fingers. "Yah...ahhh!"

"Yes, I like to hear you moan. Are you still touching yourself? Rub your finger over the head. Are you wet already? Is your cum trying to leak out?"

Ichigo obeyed, and sure enough there was a small pearl of stickiness on the slit.

"Wipe it off and lick it. Suck on your fingers, just like you suck on mine."

Ichigo put his fingers in his mouth and slurped on them loudly.

"I can hear that," Ishida said in soft rapture. "Put one in you. Can you reach?"

Ichigo blushed as he realized he already had something in his ass. He wiped his wet fingers on the sheets and turned the vibration back on the butt plug.

"Ahh fuck," he shouted in shock as he was once again awash with pleasure. "Hah...shit!"

"God, I love to hear you cuss when you get aroused," Ishida huffed in a husky tone. "Put another finger in."

Instead, Ichigo turned the vibrations up a little more. "_Nnnngh!_ Oh God, that's...ahh...Ishida..."

"I'm here, Kurosaki. You like feeling me in your ass, right? I wanna pound you right into the bed. God, I want in you!"

"In...inside...I want you...inside," Ichigo panted, squirming on the bed until his sheets were all a mess.

"I'm gonna put it in, okay? Count of three: one, two, three."

Ichigo cranked the remote to full power. His eyes went huge. "Ahh! Oh fuck, fuck!"

Ishida's voice came a little louder as his own actions made him pant. "Let me hear you moan, Kurosaki."

"Nnngh! Haah! Ohhhhh!"

"Don't be embarrassed. I can't see your face. It's just like if the lights were completely off, so react as much as you want. Just let me hear. I need to hear you," he said with a tensed hint of desperation. "Do you like me in your ass?"

"Yes...fuck yes!" he hissed.

"Touch yourself. Let me hear you moan some more. You sound damn hot!"

As he stroked his aching shaft, Ichigo groaned and panted. Faintly, he heard Ishida also huffing on the other end. "Are you really touching yourself?" Ichigo asked hesitantly.

"Hell yeah!" Ishida snapped. "You're so sexy to listen to. Do you have something up your ass?"

"Y-Yeah."

"What is it? Your fingers or something else?"

Ichigo blushed and paused. He had never told Ishida about the sex toy. What would he think? Would he be disgusted? Would he think it was perverted?

"Are you using your butt plug?"

Ichigo froze in mid-stroke. "Wha-...? H-How the hell did you know about that?"

"Idiot! It's under your bed. Kon pulled it out one day to ask me what it was. I told him it was for hemorrhoids and he never touched it again."

"You told him _what?_"

"Is it vibrating?"

Ichigo was a little angry that Ishida was sidestepping the problem here, but for now, for just a few more moments, he could let the issue go. "Yeah, it's on full power."

"Wow, really. It's really buzzing your butt, huh? Maybe I should get one. Does it feel good?"

"Yeah. Feels...real good."

"I wanna watch you use it some day. I wanna see how you squirm with it in your ass while I suck you off."

Those words affected his rampant imagination. "Ah..._nngh_...Ishida..."

"I wanna pound into your ass so hard you'll be too numb to use a butt plug. I wanna smother you and violate you."

"Ishida," he shuddered.

"Say my name, Ichigo."

He hesitated and blushed. "U-Uryū!"

"Yeah, like that...Ichigo."

"Uryū," he moaned, writhing on the bed as the heavy breaths on the other line got deeper.

"Stroke yourself faster. I'm...getting close."

"_Ahnn!_ Please..."

"Please what, Ichigo?"

"M-more. Talk...talk more."

"How greedy! But if that's what you want...I'm gonna fuck you senseless, and e-even if you...if you beg...hah...Ichigo." His voice was getting strained, and Ichigo heard husky groans on the phone.

"Ury-...oh God...hah...I can't...hold out."

"Then let it go, Ichigo. Cum for me. I abou-...about to...t-to cum too! Oooh..."

"Ahh...ha...hah...f-fuck." Ichigo's back arched as he shot off. The phone slipped off from the crook of his shoulder and slid down his pillow.

Still through it, shouting loudly, he heard Ishida's struggling voice. "Ichi-...Ichigo...ah...aaah..._nnnngh!_"

"Uryū." Feeling weak and happy, he listened to the groans on the other end and imagined that tensed face Ishida made when he cummed. Once Ichigo had recovered enough, he placed the phone back up to his ear to hear the breathing sounds. They were deep and heavy, ladened with sensual overtones.

Both boys panted on the phone for a long time. Ichigo laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling, listening to Ishida's breaths and timing his own to him.

"Ya there?"

Ichigo turned off the butt plug's vibrations and slowed his breathing down. "Yeah...m'here."

"Tomorrow after school, we're going to your house, grabbing your little toy, and then heading to a love hotel."

He had to smile at the scheme. "Pervert."

"I'm not the one with a butt plug. Or would you rather just have phone sex again?"

Ichigo's eyes popped wide open. "_What?_ Th-this...this isn't...ph-ph-phone sex!"

He heard snide snickering on the other end. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, Kurosaki."

"I said this isn't..." A dial tone cut him off. Ichigo glared at the phone as if his scowl could travel over the airwaves. "It isn't..." he mumbled, but then he looked down at the mess. He had completely forgotten to grab some tissues to catch it, and now sticky white cum covered his belly and sheets. "Shit. That manipulative Quincy bastard! Dammit. Phone sex?"

**The End**


End file.
